CRIBS: babysitting edition.

this past saturday marked by far the richest people i have ever babysat for.

i should have known that i would be bsitting at another mcmansion when i looked up this family address in carmel, but i have to say that i was less than prepared for the excessiveness of what i was about to encounter. the little adventure began with me ninjaing my way into the subdivision thanks to the protective gate that i assume is to keep white trash like myself away from the beautiful people and then, when i couldnt find the house, being instructed to drive a little further then "look for the house with the fountain in the front." mmm, k.

the moment i walked in i was greeted by the sky-high ceiling of the great room (and then promptly made an ass of myself by saying, "this is a great room" ) and the downstairs that was furnished in colors that made me think of foods: chocolate, cream, plum, sage, mustard, raspberry. i also found myself wanting to use words that aren't normally part of my vocabulary unless used sarcastically such as "lovely" or "delightful" (i refrained).

as i followed the mother around for a tour, all i could see were brands and dollar signs: the mom's citizens of humanity jeans and kate spade shoes, the kitchen with stainless steel appliances and TWO DISHWASHERS, the keretase hair products in the bathroom, the fact that all of the kids (including the 4 year old) had their own iTouch as well as balconies attached to their bedrooms, the "guest side" of the house, and the marble and plush fabrics that left no indication whatsoever that there were children residing at this residence. during this little tour i started to feel like Pigpen from charlie brown with a cloud of dirtiness following me through this palace and was wishing that i could go back in time and not be wearing boys sweatpants and an oversize hoodie looking like a crazy bag lady.

when the kids and i went outside to play i got to see all of the "toys" in the garage---aka the red porshe, the escalade and the range rover (which left me wondering what car the parents left in...?) as well as the golf cart, the motorized go cart for the kids and the trampoline. the youngest asked me, "shelley, have you ever babysat for someone with a lake in their backyard?" i wanted to say, "well, not a man-made one," but just said a simple no, i hadn't. good self control shelley.

the kids also informed me that last week kendra wilkenson (from girls next door) had moved out of the neighborhood, meaning that prior to last week these children had a celebrity neighbor. this was one of the many times throughout the evening that i found myself wondering where the hell i was. yes, i babysit for some wealthy families, but this was just beyond. i have already made a mental note to dress like a human (while ideally incorporating some pearls) for next saturday when i go back. until then i can rock my sweats at my normal-people bsitting the rest of this week. gotta love the double life.